...is to live life, simply...

"welcome."

Come closer. Look into my eyes. Slowly.
See how I’ve grown and changed through these 8*teen years.
Look at the things I have achieved and the ones I have destroyed.
Things I’ve started; complete and incomplete.
Those that I’ve loved and those that I’ve loath.
Remove the painted disguise and look at this princess in her lonely world.
Tired of picking up the b r o k e n pieces and to smooth out the creases.
Running. Waiting for someone to find her.
Come in now and read of my world.
But remember.
If you don't understand my silence, you won't understand my words.

Enjoy!

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Hello bloggie! Wasn't able to wake up in the morning today. At the perfect timing got karen's sms saying that she and mariam are going for the maths camp in the afternoon. Hurray! Went back to sleep. Met the girls at clementi got a burger for lunch. We wanted to go for the maths camp when we reached school, but since they were gonna have the quiz, we decided not to go. Pui Sin all that actually escaped and went to orchard lols. Kirrthana left too. Oh man. Well we slacked in the library. It's fun being with the girls again. Wasn't able to study though. Just not in the mood at all. ugh.
Hazel came half way. We went to JP and met with Lay. Bought some more coloured papers for my section and some food. Went to This Fashion, and that nicey pants wasn't on display anymore! How very sad! Bought the in-sole thingy, but it's the wrong size! Goodness. Hafta change most probably on Friday. If not i`ll be having difficulty walking in my court shoes on saturday. No way man. Went back to school and the girls went for touch training. At around 445 we went to outside Lt1. Only half the lecture theatre was filled and they were already doing the test. In the end we decided against taking the test. Haha. So i actually went to school for nothing? But it's ok. At least i got to spend some time with the girls. hee.
After that i went home while they went back for training. I met Lee Min at clementi interchange and passed her the 5 tix. So in total i've sold 12 tickets. Vivian said he'll get the tix himself on that day. Well, wonder if he'll even turn up. Heh. Oh well, i shallnot judge him haha. Talked to Anisah on the phone. She was hurt and sad. Sighs it was really sad man. Sighs. She told me that Shalini had backstabbed her. Shalini had said bad things about Anisah to the guys. I wonder what's Shalini's problem?! Anisah didn't even do a single thing! Man, it's really shocking that Shalini has done this. First knowing she has changed attitude wise, we tried to accept and still treat her as a friend. But now, we sure do know how to keep our distance. I seriously cannot believe what she has done. It's truly horrible. Sighs. Why do people have to be so cruel. I really hate two faced people.I feel so bad for Anisah. She's really a nice person. How can Shalini even think of hruting her so much. GRRR. I feel like giving her two tight slaps. *shake head*
Spent the rest of my time packing my camp bag, making sure i have everything. Heh. Have yet to keep my sweater and slippers. I think i might reorganize my bag. Lols. Oh dear. I haven't written the notes yet. Shoots. Haha. Will do it very soon after this entry.
Feel really guilty for spending so much money lately. Sighs. Really feel bad for taking so much money from my mother. Well, next week i would have lectures, and she'll be giving me more money. I'm gonna save all of it. Yeap, no more eating for me! I've seriously spend too much money. Ugh. Stupid vicky! Such a spendthrift! I need to keep aside some money for clive's birthday and also for after the memoir. I'm sure we'll be going out. But i hope BingZhen would go out too Heh. Cos i`m afraid it'll only be the J2s who'd wanna hang out. Cos if that's the case, then i guess i wouldn't be going. Don't wanna be extra, like duh!
I just can't wait to go for the camp tomorrow! Lols. Might be able to bump into karen too cos she's also having Art Camp! Heh. Yeap. Oh and yes, i'm soooo haappppyyy.. cos i'll be able to see someone for like.. SO LONG! Hahahahaa!! *lalalala* oh myyyy. lol. hee. jux can't wait. but not forgettin that i'd have to work hard for the memoir too heh. hope everything would go smoothly! oh yes, edna said yesterday that her 1st band camp really made an impact on her. hmm, i hope this camp would somehow change my band life too. Hope to get to know more j1s.. heh.. and foster the friendships between those i already know! wooohooo! i can feel the excitement in the air man lols. alright i'll stop here~ take care!! *muaks*
//vicky*

dreamer ♥ 10:08 PM

Hello everyone! Now i've shifted back to blog again. I've finally figured out how to use it thanks to Edna! Hehe. Spend today finding this pretty pink background. Everything fell into place nicely. Yippie! *grin* I do not know why, but i can't seem to sign into my bloopdiary. Got really irritated. Oh great. My sister is home now. I better try and make this fast.
Today was the first day of the maths camp. And yes it sucked big time of cos. Lol. Yuckie. So ultra boring. Couldn't stand it. The only fun thing was crapping ang chilling with my classmates and also managed to catch up with karen. Hurray for me! hee. Well, i somehow have a feeling things will soon get back on track. Soon. The food wasn't that nice either. The games sucked lahs. Ok practically, everything sucked yah. Tomorrow is the last day. Hope i'll be able to survive this torture. There's even a treasure hunt?! My gawd. And there's a post test. I hope i can somehow pass it? Cos i do not want to have maths remedials from the teachers. Saw our new maths teacher today, it's a guy. Sighs. Gonna miss Ms Chan man. =\ Oh well. We never know what we have til we lose it aye.Saw the committee members. Oh yes, i saw someone too. Giggles. So cool man. *dreamy*
Sold 7 tickets today! haha. Keyong happily gave his money to des and he didn't know she's getting the tickets from Andy. So frustrating. But i don't blame him since he didn't know. Oh well. Sighs. It's the same concert anyway. Good news is that, Jane Yici Marcus Az n Min are confirm coming! Jess too! It's sad that Chua n ShuYun are working. YiLin has to go to her friend's birthday party. Too bad i guess. Was rather sad. Min Yee has some other appointment. Alvin couldn't anyone who was interested. So in total i`m selling twelve tickets if i'm not wrong. Vivian said he'll get the tickets by himself on Saturday. Hope he does come.Same goes for Jasmin and Nadia.
Tomorrow i would have to meet them outside new town to pass them the tickets and get the money. But if i'm unable to meet them will get all of it from Dah. Hee. So long never see them already. Miss them mucho! =)
Had a long long long chat with Edna today, again. I just love conversations! Lols. it was fun. Hee. Like she said, i hope the band camp would somehow make at least a leetle impact on my band life. haha. oh yes, clive's birthday is like nearby and i havne't planned anything. Most probably sharing with angel they all. Haven't written stuffies for my section neither. So much work to do! Ugh!
Well my eyes are getting tired. I better get some sleep now. Need to get up early in the morning again tml. Sighs. *frowns*
//vicky*

dreamer ♥ 12:29 AM

Monday, June 09, 2003

[[8/6/2003]]
sunday
let me just start with today and slowly back track. in the mornin went to clementi MacD for pw meeting.it was cool hee.had to take minutes again? gr.. why is it always me! damned. nvm, it's the least i can do since i'm unable to go for the interviews. sighs. really hope i do not miss out on much. feel guilty soemtimes. but hafta sacrifice sometimes yeah. well after that went home and slept. in the afternoon met bingzhen and kitmun and we went to paya lebar. firstly to MacD to have our lunch, but i jus ate fries. After that we went to the largest This Fashion! And we were wondering why it's located in paya lebar. lol. But it really has a whole lot of variety. Now i know where to go to get cheap and good stuff! Lol. Bought our back skirts. I just hope i will look alright in it. Sighs. I'll be all black. not forgetting i`m already so dark.Hope no one would say anything that i mght get offended of. *keeps her fingers crossed* well after that we went around lookin at the shops. we also went to bugis! bingzhen and i bought winnie the pooh bath towels! the three of us bought necklaces. mine's all star.. the other two got all hearts. yeay! so happy. lol. ate our dinner at sakae sushi. yummy yummy. i was able to eat a lil with chopsticks kaes! hee!

Saw lots of wonderful stuff. Pink stars, cool tops and skirts. Sighs. Felt bad cos i've spent sooo much money on myself. I'm suppose to get stuff for my section ok. Stupid vicky. Sighs. I can now only get cards and write them stuff. I just hope they'll like it, even though it wouldn't be very wow.Even though it's the thought that matters and it's coming from the heart...... something just tells me.. that.. sighs.. i don't know how to put it.. afraid it'll be like nothing to them.. =( But i've already planned what to get for my darling seniors for their farewell i think. ugh, i don't know. shan't think about it now. hais.

anyway i had a wonderful time with bingzhen and kit mun. all of us were so bluey today. lols. yeap. at one point of time i was like quiet, stoning. guess i just feel so weird and confused not knowing what to get for my section mates. sighs. i wish i had more time on my hands. if only i needn't go for the bloody maths camp. how irritating.had a gr8 time laughing too. hee. overall great day =). now in irc.. having a nice chat with edna babe.. hee..
saturday
sat was awfully tiring. but it started out well. ya know when sectionals began i was playing the scales, i actually pitched high D? surprisingly amazing? felt some kind of satisfaction. i mean at least i can pitch it.practiced hard for tintin. was able to play well cos it was the early hours of band practice. yeap. sighs. i really wish i could play better. =(. had lunch with rae and two of her friends from clarinet. band practice went ok..it was so horibble and scary when we had to play tintin as the last piece cos my lips were like bad already and i can't pitch properly. what an embarrassment lohs. like i said. a disappointment to myself only. sighs. but i already told clive i can't do it? he insists i play?? -shrugs-

there was a meeting for programme people.. it's as though i've got nothing to do.. but i wanna help? nvm. think i'll help with all the folding and stuff then. at least rae's in programme too. =). i actually suggested angel to ask diyanah bring home her instrument and practice.. i felt bad actually.. hope i didn't do anything wrong? i jux want everyone to work hard..=\..hope i didn't do anything wrong.. even though i do feel bad about doing so.. guess next time i should learn to keep my fucking mouth shut.
sh0ppin9
after band me kit mun and bingzhen went to jp in search of the black top and long black skirt which is the attire for memoir. saw this cool pants in this fashion. i love it mucho. sighs. then we went to je and then finally bugis? it was blardie tiring. walked so so so much. yeap. finally found a $15 top in this fashion. so me km n bz have the same tops. lol. real cool aye. *smiles* went home after that.. came online a lil while then went to bed.. hee..
//vicky*

dreamer ♥ 8:22 PM

[last wk entry 6/2]
three cheers for me!
well i tried doing my chem tut 5 ! hurray ! lols. at least i made an effort to try and do the questions. heh. wanted to do bio but ugh. lols. and i actually spent some time doing my pw questions! cos i've never put aside time for pw before. by the way pw stands for projet work. actually i do not know why i am updating now lol. i'm in the middle of writing mariam her reply. but i think i'll just have to continue another day. too tired and worn out already. heh. yeap.
IRC
i "happily" went to #jjcsb.. and saw angel.. and seemed like she needed help. so being the nice person i am.. lol.. i offered to help her.. and oh my gawd.. i shouldn't have.. cos it turns out to be that.. silvest is suppose to make some announcement tml but he's sick and may not turn up tml as a result she was finding a substitue and i fell into her trap.. lol..so this is what i have to do now..report to the school hall at 730am and meet Bazley..it was suppose to publicise about the recruitment drive.. however.. that's not important for the band now.. thus we are taking it as an opportunity to promote our Memoir again! lols. Mainly i have to remind all the class reps to return the order forms as soon as possible.. blahblah.. hmmm.. and just promote again.. i'll most probably drag bingzhen up with me.. or if not.. raemarie.. heh.. yeap.. i'm so not going up on stage alone! it'll be worse! lols.. just cross my fingers and hope that silvest will be well enough to come to school tml.. ahhh.. don't wanna embarass myself in front of the j1s.. wuahaha.. keke..
birthday!!!!!
today is shalini's birthday!
happy birthday to you!! happy birthday to yoouu!! happy birthday to shhhaaaallluuuuuu!!!! haaapppyyy bbiirrrtthhdaaayyy too0o0o0o0o y0o00oUUuuuuU!!!!
lols.. happy 17th birthday darlin, even though you won't see this.. hEh.. *grin.. anisah farhana and me have bought her a chain.. hope she'll like it.. even though i haven't looked at it yet.. yupz..
alright.. i need to go get some sleep now.. anyway my sister's jumping on me to get out of the computer room.. ugh.. yes she's back.. good thing we didn't communicate much today.. *peace* lols.. take care everyone!! *smiles*
//vicky*

dreamer ♥ 8:20 PM

[[this was last weeks entry (6/2)]]
awkward
today morning was kinda late in meeting the girls. talked to them as normal as i possibly could. most of the times listened to the radio and pretended to read through my biology notes. i just don't feel comfortable around them like i used to. maybe i'm not giving myself a chance, to feel comfortable. it's complicated. walked into school with shivani and dinesh. then i saw karen and did the handshake with her. i was trying to avoid walking up the stairs beside her, but to no avail. so i just looked straight and climbed. she asked me, is everything ok? and i replied her very coldly. i was so irritated of hearing that question from her for the pass few days. and i actually said that, how many times do you wanna ask me that blardie question?! i was so not joking. i had a serious face and kept climbing the stairs without another word said. i was feeling that it was the right thing to do then, since that was how i really felt. i told yani about it. after some time yani suggested that maybe karen just knows something's not right, and just needs assurance. and suggested maybe i owe her an apology. but i do not know seriously.
ponders
well what can i say. is it hard to just leave me alone, and let me be when i want to..like..isn't it obvious i don't wanna say what's bothering me.. or what's been happening.. why is it so hard for you to get it.. i'm not beating around the bushes or anything.. sighs.. this is tough.. but thinking about what yani said.. yes maybe she's right.. karen must be really worried about what's happening with me.. she's just being concerned.. but what do i do.. push her away.. what else do you do when you don't wanna share.. i feel weird too.. i've always wanted to be open and talk to people about what i feel.. now.. have i changed? can't be that fast right? something's wrong.. maybe i'm just preoccupied with the things that are happening now.. yeah.. maybe..
sch00l
during bio lecture, jasmin and i were bitching away about shalini's attitude now. heh. ooopsie. keke. we both think, that maybe, she likes maga. =x.. our conversation was fun.. =].. well i pity yani being the class rep w/o the cooperation of my classmates.. i think they're pretty cruel.. sighs.. that's sad.. i miss 03S5, my 3 months class. we were so united. we were one! heh. after chem lecture, mariam gave me a postcard. how sweet of her. awwness. *touched. i'll reply her today if i have the time. cos i know mariam will understand me cos she's been in my shoes, regarding these friends thingy. i still have yet to reply her letter to me. sighs. gp common test wasn't too bad after all. quite satisfied with my brainstorming. i've realised that i lack the language and vocabulary to get my points down strongly across to te examiner. i guess i have to read more to improve. hee.
jp
after school shalini and i went to jurong point and bought mugs for the guys and these small lil dolls with the alphabets for the gurls.. it's sweet really. *grin* hope they'll like it. i'm suppose to write the cards for them.. wonder what i should write. we're giving jasmin shivani thilaga vijay nazreen polly.. dinesh vikram faisal maga and vivien.. and shalini got an extra mug for andrew.. yeap.. after that i bought three bookmarks the ones that yani bought.. i bought a purple butterfly for myself, a red ladybird for rae, and an orange butterfly for edna,to wish her good luck for resitting her mother tongue paper on june 9th! oh yes. this leads me to what i and jas were sayin that it's really weird how we can get a long better with the yr2s rather than yr1s.. that's the case for her with the indians(last yr yr2s).. and it's the case for me in band. at least someone else feels the way i do.. so i'm not abnormal or anything. lol. hee.
h0menow i'm at home.. updating..was chatting with clive in icq.. this is gonna sound weird but.. i kind of feel happy being at home now.. have this warm feeling inside, something i haven't felt for a very long period of time.. *Smiles.. hope my sister doesn't come home too early and spoil it. well. i guess i'll proceed on to do my homework. have some inspiration to do some work now. hee. even though i think i have a heavy heart with worries, i somehow feel light now.. like i'm among the clouds.. beautiful day i guess.. take care everyone =)
//vicky*

dreamer ♥ 8:19 PM

[[this was last week's entry]]
in the m0rning
met up with anisah and shalini and we went to the grand stand and helped out with the last few touches for the banner. after it was done we were just sitting around. so i decided to go for band. quickly grabbed my instrument and went for sectionals! yeay! heh. practicsed hanukkah and october. did mostly on tintin. silly me for not practicing wizard of oz. sharks. well, i'm playing 3 3rds now! kind of balances the 3 1st that i have to play. hehe. had a great time during sectionals. oh it was sad when i got to know from angel that clive has more load on his shoulders regarding the memoir cos everything's rather messed up! sighs. and chi isn't helping him much. ain't that sad?! and chi is the pres. brings to me to the question i asked clive before, which was why he ain't the pres. heh. sighs. if only i could help. but -shrugs-. well angel said i can be the bimbo! LOL! the bitch is actually edna! cool! wuhahahas. kiddin. at least today i could pitch the high high a and b at times and play some of the higher register notes with an "alright" sound and tone. lol. after sectionals i went to grab a bite for lunch with shiv.
vanavil '03 begins
[[vanavil means rainbow. and ics stands for indian cultural society]] we were in out punjabi suits. polly did the make up for us girls. we tried to do a little ushering. everything was rather messy cos we couldn't find gayathiri anywhere. faisal and naz were doing the collecting of tickets at the entrance. it was irritating how jega started shouting at everyone and rushing us, when he neen't have oh well. after we changed into our dance costumes ms yamuna made our make up much heavier as it was a stage performance. lol. it was alright la. the girls wearing saree were all so pretty. hee. especially pria, she looked like a bride! wow! everybody looked great man!
durin9 the sh0w
we were in the toilet until it was our dance performance. i think we started off very well. heh. hmmm i found the audience rather dead. but nvm. i did a few mistakes? but i didn't stop dancing or anything. guess my performance was satifactory. after that i had to change my top with shivani, which was short! lol. but nvm. got a few bites of the food outside. yum yummy yum. saw anisah's brother! lol! i think our coordination was good! lols. there were some cock ups between the emcees though. vivien was telling us all about it during the 20 minutes interval. we were sitting at the backstage benches just chatting away. ok uhm, i didn't realise i was sitting so close to vivien. wuhaha. anyway, i must admit that vivien is a really really very nice guy! lols. yeap. i wonder how many girls hearts he has stolen with his words? haha. well one point of time i was like all alone with nothing to do. and boredom was killing me. so i sat on the side where polly and vivien were. talked to them and somehow passed my time. but i kind of pulled a face while pretending to play with my phone, cos viv was like, why all so blue. haha. and he pat my head. oh well. lucky polly talked to me. heh. her outfit was awesome! talk about creativity man!
i think the best part of the show was the drama! i could hear people laughing so loudly. it was so great. lol.
after the sh0w
all of us went on stage. when the whole thing ended we just dance a little and cheered!! lols. screaming away man, so fun! hahas! took pictures with the dancers! the six of us took shots too! yeay! hee. i saw jennifer and kabilan and also elangovan! haha! well after taking a few more shots i went to change into my punjabi suit! hee. finally met up with anisah's cousin, mumtaz! she's a nice babe man. she's andrew's gurl. really sweet. hee. took photos with vivien polly and thiswhole group of people.. like WOW! haha. but we had to stop out photo takin session to clear up our stuff in the LT as it was to be locked. then we slowly took down the decorations. shalini and i helped to carry one of the tables back. it was so heavy! darn it! lols. well just sat and talked with anisah farhana and all. hmmmm. faisal gave the dancers something. it's truly sweet. awww, he's so nice. well, he got karen a flower, for helping out. lol. cool aye. at one point of time i caught myself just staring at him. =x ooopsie. hahahahaa. maga went home and came back. hmmm, he has a not-bad-dress-sense. lol. when we could leave, me anisah farhana and shalini left. we were so tired man. yeap. slept almost mmediately after my bath on saturday! hahas. that's about all that happened. maybe if i'm free i'll be adding another entry. more on about my thoughts. take care everyone.
//vicky*

dreamer ♥ 8:15 PM

[[this was last week's entry]]
0n the way to sch00l
well, lay just did the hand shake thingy with me. so yeah that was ok with me. i don't talk much in the morning anyway. so i stood away from them and was looking through my maths assignment as there would be a quiz later on. in the bus i sat at the usual corner. and the two of 'em snuggled up away to the side. it was fine with me still. then, hazel came. she also only did the hand shake with me. nothing more. not even hello? i guess these people do not know the value of a hello. ok, whatever. so i guess i got a little pissed, that i received this kind of attitude from them. and i'm sure it's because i haven't been spending time with them, which is 100% true. but hello? you don't even know what the hell i'm going through and how much i've been working and you give me this? i guess that's what got to my head. i was irritated and couldn't be bothered. i asked anisah to wait for me as she was already at the carpark. after crossing the road i left the whole gang of them and just walked with anisah. i didn't bother turnin around seeing their expressions. i just couldn't be bothered. if ya'll think ya'll can be ignorant. ha. i can be twice as ignorant. and it wasn't what i needed now (then). i had more important stuff that required my attention. you're not the only friends i have, but that doesn't mean you're forgotten or whatsoever. and now i just can't be with you all. but i didn't say any of it. why bother when they wouldn't even listen. furthermore, i couldn't be bothered to even try. so i got through school without talking to either of them 'cept karen that is. hmmm, maybe i somewhat avoided them. which seemed to be the only right thing left to do.
less0ns
tamil lesson was as slack as usual. just talked about the show and all. gp nothing much. i was afraid that we had to run a lot for pe as the other classes did for their two periods of pe. but guess what! our pe was SO slack! and i was so grateful that. we mainly did lots of skipping! hurray! i saw pria and vivien practicing the speech at the grand stand. hee. we were left off like 20 minutes earlier! wow. during our break sang marcia a birthday song. the maths quiz kinda sucked. only knew how to do the first parts of both question. i can only cross my fingers and hope not to fail. saw this cute bookmark of yani's. i wanna get one for myself and rae. lol. sigh, i miss the band members a lot. lol. oh yeah, i was telling yani about the mornin event. and she actualy said that shes proud of me, not letting it bother me too much. i was like wow. haha. and she said that she'll always be there if i need here. she's so sweet right. seems like almost all the cresentians i know are truly wonderful people. there just so many crescentians in jj man. woohoo. lol.
2nd rehearsal
after school ended sat with nazreen at the canteen. she's another nice crescentian! lol. well just talked for a while before going for the rehearsal. this time i felt much more comfortable wearing the halter neck. lols. hmmmm can't remember much about the rehearsal though. after the rehearsal ended we started with the decorations. i helped out very little before going over to the banner. me polly thilaga and vikram carried the paints and the
banner up to the grand stand. polly and me started painting the word "presents". karen lay and mariam were at the grand stand. didn't talk to them. but karen n mariam did la. karen came over to help. i did the outlining of the words. karen too heh. then faisal came over. said i was finally doin some aye! lols. polly n shiv went to get us some food. since it was getting dark we shifted down near the flagpoles where there was light. heh. *giggles- it was really tiring man. but everybody was really putting in effort and helping out. as time passed dinesh and andrew came and sat on the stairs. stupid dinu kept disturbing me bout my laughter. lol. he was so noisy man. lols. polly was offering everyone chocolate and faisal said he doesn't eat chocolate! ahaha! i called him a loser, then he was like, oh so if i don't eat choco i'm a loser la. lols. and so many other silly stuff were said. it was really very very fun indeed. lols. wed n thurs were like one of the best days of my life so far pushing aside the area on "friends", just lay they all. hmmm. more flowers were drawn. helped to outline the stem of the flower together with shiv n polly. heh. nothing much actually happened la. but ya know, the time spent with them are just so wow and special, the kind you want to remember all your life. everybody left the school at around 945! yeap! we were doing the banner til so late! hahas.
faisal was telling us about the lil story he encountered that morning. he went to the dance studio to do the banner and closed the doors behind him as he didn't want people to know he was inside doing work. then the lights came on, a sound was heard and the blue chaired move. that sent chills down my back. when i asked if he was scared he was like, too tired to feel anything! oh my! lols. we were like, good thing nothing happened the day before! lols!i took 99 to clementi. andrew vikram and faisal took it also. faisal power sia. he still had to pass tics before going home. poor guy. but the gr8 thing is that he sold like almost 30+ tics! WOW! Hahas.
at h0me
was pretty busy getting the things that i would need to pack my bag tml. the bangles and all. phew. tiring. i went online. hee. had a chat with clive and i came to reaise the number of things that he has on his shoulders! it's totally nothing compared with him. and i'm in awe to how he can actually handle all of this so calmly! it's truly amazing! my gawd. he told me how he skipped his lunch(band time) to help out the things during the bizzart then conducted the band at 1hour intervals. then he gave them breaks so he could help out with the bizzart.and after releasing the band members he went back to for the bizzart till 8! my gawd. so tiring right. he also told me he's in the art commitee but do nothing. and he has to help his sec school for the syf. not only that. he also has to help the other schools that he has taught before! and one of the school is in sengkang and the other sembawang, wheares he stays in jurong! and he said his conductor said that that's the real world. wow. wish i could be as strong as him man. that's the end of my friday!
//vicky*

dreamer ♥ 8:12 PM

[[this was last week's entry]]
the announcement
i reached school at around 7am to somewhat rehearse our lil announcement that'll be made on stage in front of all the j1s. the j2s are also did the same thing, but at the parade square. after singing the anthem we had to set up on stage. we did our talking before handing over to the four of 'em who's playing. i was rather nervous! but i hope i spoke well. lol. actually i was surprised they asked me to do this, as i wasn't even in publicity. so is edna. so i guess it's alright. anything for the band man! after our announcement had to give out the order forms to all the class reps. man, i was so relieved it was over.
lessons began
thursdays are always a long long day. rather draggy too. and i was very very tired and sleepy. i spend most of my time with my classmates rather than with lay and gang. i'll come back to that later on . for project work, our proposal has been approved. we just have to send in the 2nd proposal. but sighs, there's so much to be done. it's really stressful as all my group members are very determined and hardworking, unlike me, who's so preoccupied with other activities. oh well. and yes i remember something yani told me. i was somewhat complaining away about how busy i am andhow stressful it is. she said something like i put all these stress on my own shoulders. there was some truth in what she said though. but i guess she didn't understand how much all of these meant to me. however, she did leave me lost for words at that point of time. by the way, i passed my chem assignment 2. got a 6 upon ten i think. can't really remember. at least i didn't fail. heh.
banner time
after school i met jasmin outside the classroom. we went to the grand stand and met up with faisal shivani vivien anisha. i think that's about it. can't exactly remember. heh heh. as we started to paint, jasmin left with junlin. she later told me that she felt a little left out. how silly of me not to realise. but oh well. i was the only j1 there? at least she knew everybody that was there. well i was very normal. i helped in whatever way i could. i was extremely noisy too. heh. guessed i suprised the guys with my eccentric laughter! lol. actually i did little work on thurs. i was more on entertaining everybody by counter attacking whatever anyone said. lol. how "useful" right. haha. wow. i mean really wow. it was the day that i and faisal really talked just so normally. but i didn't have the feeling of flying above the clouds as the rest would think i have, because they do not know that i've learnt and moved on. i was really happy. i was very hyped up. i talked to clive on the phone for a little while too. heh. asking him if we could borrow paint brushes chalk and white paint. haha. but that lazy guy said no of cos. haha. oh well. hee. at least i actually talked to him on the phone? vivien talked to me too. just like any other normal person. but he's cool ya know. he's really a very nice guy. well it's sad i do not exactly remember all our conversations. but he left early.i remember faisal was sayin the blue patch was a cloud and i was like, that's a cloud?! LOL. heh. faisal and vivien helped me to rephrase some sentences for my GP comprehension. and faisal's english is like good. well it has to be of cos! lol. *grin- so nice of them to actually help me. karen came later on too. she helped to draw the words jurong jc presents. it was cool. heh. since it was getting pretty dark, we shifted to the dance studio. i was sitting in front of the banner with karen and faisal joined us. and we were talking the night away about new town. he was telling us how "close" he was with mdm oen and all. lol. he was the last in his class ya know, with 13 points. he was in the first class, that's triple science. heh. he told lots of other stuff. heh. we saw mr chia and he was so nice to help us in a "way" to get out of school, without climbing the gate. we left really late. at around uhm, 845! late indeed aye. oh yes, shivani and vikram were also there.
j0urney h0me
karen and i took 99 home. well, i was extremely irritated by the fact that she kept asking me if everything was ok!? what the fark man. grrr. how many fcking times are you gonna ask me that blardie question. if i ain't sayin anythin don't you get the hint that i don't wanna tell you anything. give me a break please! my gawd. *shakes head* sighs. oh well. she was like oh i must be so happy blahblah since i talked to faisal. yes i was happy indeed. but i wasn't among the stars. yes i was truly truly VERY happy indeed. believe me, i was. who wouldn't be happy gettin a chance to talk to your few years crush! but i wasn't melting. i guess it's different now, that i do not look at him the same way. i see him as a friend. a caring friend i'd love to have for life. i love him, but i am not in love with him. =) that's the honest truth yeahs. tried to study for the maths quiz that's on friday but i didn't. i was just too exhausted and extremely worn out. so i slept. heh.
//vicky*

dreamer ♥ 8:09 PM