...is to live life, simply...

"welcome."

Come closer. Look into my eyes. Slowly.
See how I’ve grown and changed through these 8*teen years.
Look at the things I have achieved and the ones I have destroyed.
Things I’ve started; complete and incomplete.
Those that I’ve loved and those that I’ve loath.
Remove the painted disguise and look at this princess in her lonely world.
Tired of picking up the b r o k e n pieces and to smooth out the creases.
Running. Waiting for someone to find her.
Come in now and read of my world.
But remember.
If you don't understand my silence, you won't understand my words.

Enjoy!

Saturday, February 19, 2005

oh wow! i haven't blogged in almost two weeks. well, a lot has happened of course so i'll just say whatever i remember yeah.

I had a week break, last week. Hurray! So i did a lot of shopping. Once i went alone to get a new top and i met my friend later on. I got introduced to her friend. Lol. It's nice to keep making more new friends aye. heh. Twice i went to my indian friends' house to watch the dvds i borrowed from one of my angels. White Chicks was sooo hilarious! oh. my. god. and since i was watching it alone, while her brothers, his gf,and my friend were playing daidee in the room..i couldn't help laugh out loud cos it was just so friggin' funny. lol. and they laughed because i laughed. i mean yeah, you know how wackie my laughter is anyway. *oops* keke. i can't help it. So it was a lot of fun really. Oh dear. i don't really remember what i did! Eeks! Oh yes! i went to lay's house with the rest of the angels for CNY dinner. gosh. her house was like really packed. it was hazie's 4th year anniversary. awww. ain't that sweet! he is like SO funny. entertaining us with his card tricks and all. he's really good with 'em i must add! hehe. 'twas nice to see them all again after sooooo loonnnggg! So let me see.. i got myself a new pair of jeans..and there was a discount! how lucky can i get! oh this i must say! my dear darling godsista accompanied me to shop that day.. i think it was a tuesday..cny celebrations in school so she ended early! heehee. yeayy. it was great catching up with her and all. i miss sexylegs so much. hahahaaa. bought a top from this fashion too.. yeaps.. i was pretty much occupied that week as i can remember.. heh.. oh yeah.. and Vday after work i met up with some of my girlfriends and we dined at NYDC, at holland v. yum yum yummmm. just luurrvvee the food there. lol. especially the kahlua mudpie. heehee. i made my friends chocolate coated flakes!! heehee. yeap yeaps made by very own ME~ lol. but i got the idea from beezee of course. keke. lol. i gave a box to my colleague too. heh heh. =)) my mom was like SO sweet? i mean she's never done this before. she wrote on a piece of paper and pasted it up on the wall. in my hall, like when you enter the door there's this wall and my brother's tournament dates, exam timetables and stuff like that goes up there.. scotch-taped! haha. we write 'good luck for exams' notes and paste it there too whenever any of us are having our examinations lol. so my mom wrote a note to her dear children.. each of our names.. happy valentine's day.. you all are the joy of our life.. we will always love you! AWWWW!!! i was so damn touched!!!!! SO SWEEEETT!! *beams* heheeheee.

being the freak that i am, of course i made my way to the library to get more new books. i've read this incredible book! Reflections & Dreams by Nora Roberts! I love the story so so so much that i'm going to read it again. But now i'm reading Milan Kundera's Immortality. Ya'll should read Milan Kundera's books. yeaps. but now i'm hooked on to Nora Roberts. heehee. gosh i just luurrvvee reading, don't you? hehe.

do you know i'm like so dead sick of the computer. that's why you don't see me online much these days. just imagine sitting in front of the damn screen at work the whole day. omg. LOL. you can just die. and now, the saddest news is that, my colleague will be stopping work. today was her second last day actually. i can't help but whine because i'm gonna miss her so! she's more than just a colleague to me! haha. i guess its because she and her sister are friends with my sister.. so we just kinda click immediately you know. it was really cool. i don't know what state i'll be in if not fer her. like i said, she keeps me sane and she makes me laugh so hard i end up tearing. LOL. its just so fun having her around. it's gonna be dead boring without her now. there'll be nobody for me to talk to.. joke with.. yada yada yadaaa.. thats just so sad!!! *sobs* i really really wish she didn't hafta go. oh dearrrr. sighhhhhh. i was thinking of getting her something hehehee. anyway i've really enjoyed all the times i've spent with her. it's just been great =))
alrights. i had a great time today too! my colleague and i went shopping after work. we ate at pastamania.. yummy yummy !!! lol.. and i bought two new bags! woots!! i was soooo happy! actually i'm still sooo happy. lol! i'm still looking for a neat pink wallet.. a pair of shoes.. yeahh.. prolly get my perfume with the next pay which should be coming soon.. together with accessories and make-up hahahaa.. its just great to have your OWN money! its like i can just go out and get what i want.. but of course with caution.. since its my own hard-earned money lol.. yeahh.. OMG!! guess what!! i saw my dearest EDNAAAAAAA!! lol!!! yes i was in her shop and i didn't even see her.. she was the one who saw me first lol.. so cool! heehee. i dont know why i kept thinking she worked at holland instead! hmmm! LOL. heehee. it was great to see edna! i havent seen her in like A G E S?! omg! can't wait to meet her soon for dinner or so.. hehee.. so yeahhh. had a lot of fun.. my colleague's bugging me to go clubbin tmrw.. and i think i just might?! LOL.. hafta ask one of my friends first.. hahaa.. see how it goes aye! if i like it i might go again with the rest next saturday heehee.

tomorrow i`ll be going to school for Love Fiesta!! hahahaaa.. gosh i still remember whatever happened last year. i still have the image of how he looked that day, and even what he wore. i'm still keeping what he gave me. but i hadta throw the wrapper away! muahaha. how one of my friends gave us this pearl bracelet. i thought he was just being too sweet!! awwness! oh well. nothing will ever beat the vday i had in jj in yr1. the gift present exchange with my darlin angels.. and the whole atmosphere in school.. its like everybody's in that mood.. its just everywhere.. it was so beautiful.. now only a memory.. one i`ll always treasure. and then i'll be having dinner at my boss's house.. and then we'll see if i plan to go clubbing or not. lol. heehee. sigh im beat right now. like hellooo its gonna be 2 already. wonder what time i`ll get up tmrw. everybody's going to school so darn early! erks! lol. i wonder if some of the band peeps are going. miss em so much.

okaes.. i know this whole entry sounded so chirpy and happy.. but obviously you will know that i haven't been so happy and delighted all the way for two weeks. just yesterday night.. i couldn't sleep. i was thinking about too many things. even the As results and i ended up tearing. with so many different scenarios in my head. the end is so near. *shudders* and ok this is gonna be insane. but i was reading about anorexic and bulemic people.. believe me, i'm thinking about it. and i'm afraid to start purging. you know it definitely is a good way to start losing weight, and fast..say a coupla weeks. but im just afraid that it`ll be hard to stop. sigh. im too tired now to tell you everything i've thought about. so this is just a brief outline. i guess i'll crawl into bed now. goodnight! *blows you a kiss*

alright i wrote the above part on friday..was too tired to update on saturday..so here's what happened on saturday =)

so saturday, it was Love Fiesta and i went down to school to meet the rest of my friends. all the games stalls were now in the carpark. i didn't play any games of course. we took a lot of polaroid picures! which was, by the way, my class idea last year!! heeheeehee. *grins* i went fer the haunted mansion also. the only eerie thing was the girl with her hair all over her face coming too close to me and her hair touching my back. as you know im not the kind of person to get scared easily, so honestly this wasn't THAT scary.. i was just screaming for the fun of it lol. my friends seemed freaked out though. muhahaha. silly girls. i was kinda shocked..muahaha cos i talked to him so casually, i didn't know where m anger flew too. or what happened to the im not gonna talk to him anymore. lol. but its alright la. it only proves more to myself that i've moved on i guess. anyway i saw the two of 'em..they looked perfect together and i'm really happy fer him. -nods- i didn't get to see the yr1 ind girl from my sec sch though..the one who was like identifying me as "the dancer" *bursts out laughing* so yeah we just walked around..talked to some friends.. saw my tamil teacher's family..! the boy's still so adorable! heehee. oh and i bumped into my senior tooo!! lol!! so cool. i don't know if the love fiesta was any fun.. but ya know i had my share of fun just by being with my friends. i saw those two people, and i completely ignored them. toodles to that! i mean please, i don't need backstabbers as my friends. lol. =)) we talked to ms yamuna too. lol. 'twas so funny. heehee. great seeing her after so long. oh oh and my friend had this makeover and her new hairstyle rawks.. its dyed red which i would if i ever dye my hair but i know i won't..BUT.. who knows. Lol. ohhh and i saw my angels!! i was like so happy!! hahahaha.. exchanged hugs and all..heehee.
yeahhh. i feel good actually because in so long, i haven't been this happy, and for once i didn't doubt that happiness if it were pretentious. i realised that as much as i don't like going out or prefer being alone..i shuld get out and be with my friends cos that's what makes me really happy and helps me feel comfortable in my own skin.

anyway.. the results will be coming out on march 4th. yeaps. omg. omg. i don't know what to think. it's horrifyingly nerve wrecking. *shudders*hahahaa. i'm just gonna be dead or something lol. alright. i guess i'll go do other stuff now. heh. tatas~

dreamer ♥ 1:28 AM