...is to live life, simply...

"welcome."

Come closer. Look into my eyes. Slowly.
See how I’ve grown and changed through these 8*teen years.
Look at the things I have achieved and the ones I have destroyed.
Things I’ve started; complete and incomplete.
Those that I’ve loved and those that I’ve loath.
Remove the painted disguise and look at this princess in her lonely world.
Tired of picking up the b r o k e n pieces and to smooth out the creases.
Running. Waiting for someone to find her.
Come in now and read of my world.
But remember.
If you don't understand my silence, you won't understand my words.

Enjoy!

Sunday, October 24, 2004

SUPER LONG ENTRY. but worth reading. heh heh.
happy birthday to me. happy birthday to me. happy birthday to meeee. happy birthday to me! lol. my birthday was on 22nd oct actually but i had no time to update yesterday. it was perfect in its own little way.

firstly thursday, which was the eve of my birthday, was A level bio practical. my first a level paper. well it definitely was not easy. but i did write as much i could. i just hope not to do very badly. i guess by badly i mean a marginal pass. but i'm definitely going to work extra hard for my theory papers for i know that's where i can kind of score, well i have to. after the paper i was supposed to have gp consultation. while waiting i was sitting with my classmates and chatting. not to be thick skinned but it was obvious they had something up their sleeves. haha. so after my consultation i found them again at the concourse. i was waiting for my friend who just had her practical in the 2nd shift. haha. she gave me this yummy yummy biscuits which i have yet to open and she wrote on the wrapping. there was a card too. heh. my clique from class gave me this present that was wrapped in pink - my fav colour of course. inside it was another pink plastic bag. haha. and inside that bag was a bag! it was pink too. pretty pink. lol. different shades of pink. nice bag. got a card from two of them too. sooo sweeeet of em aye. awwww. =) i really do love it. so after that all of us went home. well that was for the eve of my birthday in school.

on my birthday i was surprised by some people who wished me. especially this girl from my dance group whom i don't communicate with anymore. but the fact that she remembered and bothered to wish me at 12..i was touched and appreciated it a lot. a lot of people wished me. heh. i was so happy that one of my really good friend from band remembered. i haven't spoken to her in such a long time. so yeah. i went to school in the morning to study. i was alone in the library till i went to meet two of my classmates at the cafe. my progress wasn't toooo good that day. okaes. i know i haven't really mentioned names in my entries but i have to now if not its hard. haha.

so hazel came to the cafe to study too and we sat together. apprently the cafe started to get really noisy. so we decided to move to the concourse. it was better there i guess. oh and i learned something new! wuhahahas. i got to know that his father is actually a pastor! and i smsed him to ask him why he never told me! he said its cos i never asked. like -whatever- anyway i must admit that i was kind of disappointed. he and his group of friends whom i hold quite dear i guess forgot my birthday. sighhhh. it sure was sad. really. but its ok i guess. you never should expect anything in return right. heh. =)

so hazel and i left school around 620pm. at the bus stop, hazel got a phonecall from sam (or so i thought) and she was in a rush to get to holland cos apparently, sam had a class and she's meeting him for dinner so yeah. and she said that she's taking a cab. and said she'll drop me along the way. i said its ok that i'll take the bus but she insisted so i went along. holland is indeed near my home. it took quite sometime till the cab came. haha. so we went to holland. i felt that the cab ride was really long? perhaps the driver was going slowly or something. hmmmm. evil. heh. anyway, i was just thinking that this year my birthday was nothing special. as in just a normal day you know. nothing much. and here i am on my way home to pray and study. oh i forgot to tell you i was vegetarian for the day. haha. okaes. so we got down at holland. and guess who i saw! lay! haha. she was lookin pretty so i thought she's having dinner together with hazel and sam or something. so i kinda told the two of them that hey i'll make a move first alrights.......

AND they started to pull me! wuhahahahs. only at that very point did i go huh? wuhahaha. yes! they were bringing me somewhere! omg. all that while i had NO clue that everything was planned! i had no idea that hazel wasn't talking to sam but my friends all along! it was sooooo funny. this was all lay's idea actually. hahahaha. actually the day before lay was asking me if i were studying in school and i told her that even if i was im not gonna tell her in case they had something up their sleeves. heh. she said i was hallucinating. so you know im not that bad so i told her if you're really are gonna study in school then i`ll be in the cafe. haha. but in the end she didnt come cos it was raining. haha. GOSH. i was just so taken back. this was really really a surprise for me!! wowww i was so overwhelmed. so when i got to the place, i wasn't allowed to look up. much better than closing my eyes right. so emabarrasing. heehee. oh well. and guess who else were there! karen and joyce!!! wowww! hahahahahaa!! and there were my presents neatly arranged and a slice of cake with a UNIQUE sparkly candle - it sparkles a little like the fircrackers when lighted! heh so they sang me a birthday song and i blew the candlelight. then we shifted up. we took some photos too. i was still in a shock. i just couldn't believe that i was there with my dearest angels!! awww!!! what more can anyone ask for! heh. well they got me this really really huge bag..they attached this really really pretty sequined star to it! gosh its soooo prettttyyy!! lay got me this star pillow! reaaalllyy neat man! it has these beads at the side and all. nice ta hug. karen got me a cool bracelet. there was this friendship band inside the bag too. oh karen and joyce did this really really pretty star like thingie. joyce wrote the words and karen designed it. it was SO pretty. i got cards from karen and joyce too. they were really touching man. awww. heh.

remember that i was vegetarian? haha so i had to call my mom and tell her that my friends surprised me and that you know. so she agreed! weeee!!!! =))))) we had LOTSA food to eat man. wuhahaha. and they were yummmyyyy! we spent lotsa time chatting everything was just sooo cool and perfect and some things never nevr change. like how out of point hazel is wuhahaha. really cracks me up. heh. weeeeeeeee! i was more than just happy to be there spending my day with them. it was most definitely the perfect ending..awww!!!!!!! hahahahaha..=x it was great. truly. *grins* i mean i told hazel on lay's birthday last last week not to celebrate my birthday cos everyone's gonna be studying and i am too so its best we don't do anything. wuhahaha. and they gave such a beautiful surprise. i was just so overwhelmed. i left together with karen. and i realised that i haven't talked to karen in a hell LONG time! cos she doesn't know the terrors i went through with km in band!! and she doesnt know anything bout HIM!! haahaha so i told her not to get me started cos they're long stories. so after As lar. lol. =)))

well when i got home.. i was thinking about my day.. and i really really feel blessed to actually have so MANY friends that i am close to.. that i can trust and friendships i know that i will keep and i know that they usually say you will only have a few true friends but i have more than just a few and i feel so blessed!!!!!! i mean look.. i have my ANGELS.. lay hazel karen and joyce.. we dont get to spend all our time tgt because we are all busy with school and stuff but we are still together and we are still strong! and man i really love them to bits!!!! and then i have my clique in school/class.. wendelin yani elis and hasvany!! and i am just SO PROUD to have them as my close and really good friends! you know many cliques of friends usually have lots of controversial problems in their groups.. and we dont have any of that! honest! we never fight we never quarrel. all of us are like so understanding even if we do something wrong or say something we apologise almost immediately .. or if one acts weirdly we all understand somethings wrong and don't take it as though she's changed and blahblahblah. heehee. we really really rock big time. wuhaha. i also have my two close indian friends..yes indian! heehee none other then kirrthu and hems! though i only got to know them in jc these are the true indian friends i have that really care for you and wont do any kind of stupid shit like all those LAME shit that happens between indians. ok lol. =x all of us are really lame and they'll never know just how happy they make me. life definitely wouldn't be the same without them! i mean without them i dont think i`ll even be talking in tamil in my daily conversations. wuhahaha. then there's siyi from band. actually we used to be really close esp when there's band and everything. she's like my sister ya know yeahhh. she rawks big time. i love her so much. heehee. but we havent talked in a long time cos of school and the As and both of us dont go online anymore. and im def looking forward to catching up with her after As. bingzhen!!! my darlin friend since secondary school.. been through with me through all the band experience and everything! heh. im so so so happy that we've been friends for a long time. i just love her. she's like this really down to earth person. i only wished she saw herself through my eyes. hahahaha. she's someone really precious to me!! really!!! =)))) puisin! my classmate in jc.. heh.. its a pity we dont get to talk much now buts its cos of the As i hope that our friendship will last long.. she's another who's really wacky and crazy like me.. actually more.. hahahaa.. i really love her a lot and miss her too.. hee.. she's really been there for me countless no. of times and i cant thank her enough =)

JENNIFER!!!! wuhahahahas. yeaps yeaps yeaps!!! my dearest dearest dearest friend who's so far away from me..havent seen her for so long..sobs! really hope she'll be back in spore soon..she's like my guardian angel you know.. the kind that's godsent! we've really been through a lot and i can tell her just about anything, anything at all! heh. i really really miss her so so much! then there's azlindah!!! my only godsista! haha. though sometimes i feel we kinda have some friction she'll always be someone i love a lot and i hope she knows that. another really really good friend of mine is nadia my bandmate and upper sec classmate. she's like one of those really few people whom i still keep in touch with from sec sch. haha. she's a really sweetie. yeaps! heehee. (ok i see where this is going one whole list of my good friends huh nvm im going to continue) then comes the people i just got to know but i dont know if you know they'll remember me as long as they live cos they'll always be in my heart till im alive..these are people like the indian guys from school.. esp him.. heh.. i really have alot of good friends.. like raemarie? its a pity we dont talk much to each other anymore. hmmmm. and ive kind of lost touch with my two closest friends back in 2oo3 in college..clive and edna. they will always always be very very dear to me even though we dont talk much. but i know darlin edna still drops by here haha. i miss you edna!! =))) actually i have to say that i treasure jasmin's friendship too. even though we've been through so much i know its not really our fault but just the circumstances and the decisions we made. but i`ll always be very grateful because i know how much jasmin really cares for me. i only wished that our friendship will not end in this jc life you know. =) she'll always be in my heart. i cannot not mention my online friends..yumin whom i met from od..and also mandy.. they are really one of a kind and im glad to have them as my good friends even though we have not met and i dont suppose we ever will but its cool that way!
that was really really long isnt it. its just a beautiful weather that got me writing. heh heh. *grins* now there's only one thing left to do. that is to work hard for my As. i only hope for the best. im constantly reminding myself that i must work extra hard than i already am cos people out there are also working hard so i must work extra hard to get on top. muahaha. and the song from honey soundtrack is stuck in my head - i believe i can.. =)

dreamer ♥ 1:19 AM