...is to live life, simply...

"welcome."

Come closer. Look into my eyes. Slowly.
See how I’ve grown and changed through these 8*teen years.
Look at the things I have achieved and the ones I have destroyed.
Things I’ve started; complete and incomplete.
Those that I’ve loved and those that I’ve loath.
Remove the painted disguise and look at this princess in her lonely world.
Tired of picking up the b r o k e n pieces and to smooth out the creases.
Running. Waiting for someone to find her.
Come in now and read of my world.
But remember.
If you don't understand my silence, you won't understand my words.

Enjoy!

Thursday, August 21, 2003

monday
my monday was such a long day. lessons were as usual. we had the STAR programme after school at 430. then i went to study with my classmates shiyin, jocelyn and yueru. i think we're pretty good together. not as in friendship( from my p.o.v. ) but as a study group i think we pass off pretty well. yeah. saw the dancers later on. got viv to accompany me to go to bp. the sky was so sooo pretty! mmm. -smiles- we were initially at the benches, then we hadta shift to da canteen. mmm. did maths and bio, but more on maths. til around 8++. but i still had the drive to do more. like, wow. lol. was pretty cool. but don't like the canteen too much. quite hot. was so tired when i got home. was in the midst of my gp research when my sister said she had important things to do. of course i wouldn't want to argue in a losing battle. i actually fell asleep til almost 3am. continued with my gp research. did tamil sentences. wanted to read bio, but eventually slept til 6am.

tuesday
during the break after PE, i was feelin really really bad. as if i was going to throw up or even faint. just that very bad feeling. but i think it's because i haven't been eating my dinner for monday and sunday. and come to think of it, it's a lilttle scary but through. i think my body has somehow adapted to me not eating. i usually only have breakfast. then i don't eat my lunch, neither dinner. in between i have very little to eat. but, i'm not on a diet or anything. i don't know. maybe it's got to do with studying and all? -shrugs- even though we officially ended at 130, we had extra maths tut at 215. before that we had the filming thingie fer teachers' day. heh. funny. oh well. after that marcia and i went for GP consultation. actually i think it's pretty alright. since it's only the three of us, i think i'm fairing alright. mdm sal told us about this girl. and yeah. it's so like me in a lot of ways? this girl, who's pretty quiet in gp class. the reason she doesn't speak up or anything is because she doesn't know much as compared to her other classmates. and she'll feel dumb. and don't want others thinking that's she's stupid when she needs to ask questions. like people might say "this one also you don't know". oh i so know how the girl feels really. i can totally relate. oh well. guess there's some hope for gp. really need to pass my gp. if i can get a c6 again for my promos, i think i'll be more than glad. of cos i'd be happier if i could perform better. -smiles-
after that i went to study again at the benches. this time with shiyin, elizabeth, jiayu. but i was on a different table. practically because they were speaking too much and i need to study. i quickly read my bio. then i went to look for ms wun. bio consultation. got her to explain some stuffs to me. actually i'm suppose to be studying. done with like only 1/4 of the chapter. so i can say i understand better now. but i've got to do more reading up to be more clear about stuffs. after that went to the dance studio. jega's dancing too ya know. lol. heh. went back to revising bio and touchin a lil on gp and maths. after that met clive and uhm, this might sound bad, but we were kind of gossiping. oh well, exchanging information sounds nicer. lol. was laughing all the way. ooopsie. hahaha. my favourite thing to do now aye. heh. the 99 bus took so goddamn long to come man. irritating. but it was fun crapping with that evil creature. LOL. =x
watched the wizard of oz! it's soooo cuuuttteee!! those munchkins! hope i spell em right. so pretty and all. the song, somewhere over the rainbow.. SO NICE! lol. was smsing all my friends to watch. but unfortunately, i fell asleep at the ending. so slept on the sofa til the next morning. evil lil brother of mine, didn't bother to wake me up despite watching the wizard of oz with me.

wednesday
i was feelin rather sleepy. couldn't keep my eyes open. after school went to the band room. heh. the invitations were being given out to the seniors! so cool. lol. i was so so sooo happy to see all of em back there again. heh. -grins- it's a pity angel had to rush off soooo fast. boohoohoo. sigh. oh well. had a great time chatting with edna fifi lings jeannie. lol. jem chi were there too. mmm. haha. kept laughing and crapping as usual. but yeah, so happy? hehehe. well, glad they kind of like the invitation. i think jeannie got the scroll that i wrote! *clap clap* hope you like it? there's stars and dots.. pretty pretty .. (juz like me -wink) LOL. well yeah. i think we're gonna watch that korean movie together! lol. wonder when. pretty packed now. hope i'll be able to make it. heh. so i left band and went for dance. we were practicing in tamil classroom first. joined the other dance groups. not much time left to tell you bout dance, so another time yeah. after that i rushed back to band! lol. even though it was like the last 20 mins or so.. got my tpt out to play heh. oh yeah, today was open house too. heh. after that had a different dance practice. more new steps. can you imagine how tired and worn out i am? gee. oh well. then i was walking to the canteen. karen was crying? sigh. so saddening. partly's because of her sculpture. she either lost it or it broke fer the 3rd time, and she really put in a lot of effort. and she smsed me that ya know been screwing up whatever she does and stuff. i was with them actually. haze and yam were talkin to her. no where fer me to fit so i figured i left first. didn't know if i should have stayed though. heh. oh well. then i came home. slept fer three hours and now i'm studying bio. with coffee. lol. alrights. 2am. time to start revising again. adios! ;)

dreamer ♥ 2:00 AM

Sunday, August 17, 2003

heyyy. school on friday was pretty slack. the test went alright. i memorised whole-sale the example sentences. heh. we didn't have pe! wow. lol. two periods free? discussed this project thingy for GP. yeh, i have got GP research to do. And i will have to prepare "notes" for the class. but for the time being, just hafta make one copy. it's only today that i realised the STAR programme (maths) is actually three times a week? almost fainted. monday, thursday, friday there'll be star programme. wed band and dance (but i usually go for band). tuesday i have GP consultation? gee. and somewhere between the line i will have to slot in a time so i can consult my bio tutor cos yeah, don't understand a number of stuff. really really packed.

met the rest at da band room. did some stuff. she had to rush off, again. mmm. rae yikling and myself went to the cafe at around close to 6. each of us bought a slice of cake then we shared. yummy. sat there and chilled til about 7pm. it's been darn long since i was last able to sit and just chat. it was really cool and fun heh. loved it? speaking in english..without all those silly cheena slangs. was cool really. -smiles- went home with yijia. there was this scene at the bus stop. this gurl unhappy with her guy. man, freaky. lol. then on the bus we saw clive. haha. as in we in da bus he was walking at the pavement. was funny. traffic jam! irritating. reached home around 8+. was so beat. whole day gone just like that. couldn't stay up to do work.

the gp common test wasn't good at all. i think i might fail. sigh. cos of paper 2. mmm. but i hope i did alright for paper 1. after that my mom and brother came down and we went to see ms tan. she greeted my mom by calling her auntie. poor thing, ms tan was sick. well conversation was really dry. lol. oh well. she said i was hardworking. heh heh. cool. needed to put more work into my maths. yeah after that we had dance practice. hope i remember the steps? but i wouldn't be going on wednesday. they better not expect me to be there. siansation. not that i hate dance? but it really gets on my nerves when it interferes with my band.

band was alright. we actually tried persis. was so like in love with it when i was in sec sch. really fancied it? but not too much now. but nice to try. heh. mr leng came halfway. and then he had to leave early. cos he has rehearsals for tomorrow's performance. he's really cute man. lol. so farnie. tried my best lar. but grew tired easily. stupid dance. ugh. faisal, happily didn't pass me the black paint? uhhhhhh. -.-" after band met karen, who finished her sculpture, in the canteen. we were talking, just waiting for bingzhen to come. when she finally did..carried on with the stuff. went home with karen. was really interesting aye. can't say much here now. heh.

sigh. i have maths quiz on 8&9, test on trigo, bio quiz on nucleic acids, GP research, chem tut8 to complete, maths tut10 to complete and assgn 10 to start on. on top of this all, i have farewell preparations and dance practices. darn long week. and this week cut myself too much slack already. going to try and be real focused tomorrow onwards. need to complete a whole lot of things so that i wouldn't be in too much of a rush next week. but i was considering not going for chem tuition tml mornin. so that i could go to wdlnds library much earlier and start on my work. i don't know. sighs. most prolly won't go. think i should go sleep now. long day for me tomorrow.

dreamer ♥ 1:26 AM