...is to live life, simply...

"welcome."

Come closer. Look into my eyes. Slowly.
See how I’ve grown and changed through these 8*teen years.
Look at the things I have achieved and the ones I have destroyed.
Things I’ve started; complete and incomplete.
Those that I’ve loved and those that I’ve loath.
Remove the painted disguise and look at this princess in her lonely world.
Tired of picking up the b r o k e n pieces and to smooth out the creases.
Running. Waiting for someone to find her.
Come in now and read of my world.
But remember.
If you don't understand my silence, you won't understand my words.

Enjoy!

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Right at this very moment, i wish i was strolling along the beach. by myself. feeling the cold lonesome air against my skin. finding a perfect spot..sitting down..feeling my feet sinking into the soft sand..leaning back on my hands.. staring straight out to the sea..listening to the rhythmn of the waves washing up on the shore..to where the sky meets the sea..watching the stars twinkle twinkle..basking myself in the moonlight..taking in the beautiful night..and let the tears flow..for all the things that have gone wrong..for all the things that weren't supposed to happen..for always feeling so depressed..for always feeling that i'm never good enough (its true either way)..for always hating my reflection..for not being anything more..for feeling so insignificant..for not loving myself. that would be nice, right about now.
i need some kind of release. i don't know when i'll get it. i just feel stuck. oh fuck it i don't like me sometimes.

I can believe that maybe we aren't meant to be, and a little later on we will be. Only because it is impossible for me to believe that I could have these kind of feelings after so long for someone that wasn't suppose to be in my life forever.

I've decided, if you're going to leave, I don't want to make you hate me first. I want you to remember me being happy for you. I want you to remember all the sweet things I said, and meant with everything inside of me. I want you to remember that I know you're the greatest person alive, even at your worst state. I want you to remember it all. But with all those things I'd like you to remember...there's one more. More than anything else in the world, I want you to remember the way that I love you.

Just when you think things can't get any worse…they do. But I've learned that life is like hourglass sand; sooner or later, everything hits rock bottom, but all you have to do is be patient and wait for something to turn everything around.

I can't escape the thought of you. Even in my dreams you’re there. It's not fair how you're gone, and you're moving on so fast while I'm still here...living in the past.

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others. -Audrey Hepburn

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, THEY'RE the amazing ones. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

You know I saw you today...just when I thought I was beginning to get over you. The instant that I saw you I got nervous, my stomach began to turn and I almost started crying...and as much as I didn't want to look at you, I couldn't take my eyes off of you. Maybe it was because I wanted to see if you were looking at me as much as I was looking at you. I wanted to look into your eyes and see if you've felt the pain that I can't seem to get rid of...but in a way I'm glad I didn't...because if you had been happy and smiling, I don't know that I could have handled it. So I guess it's better this way...because if you were sad, I would have hoped that you missed me too and then I would've wanted to comfort you and make you happy because I know what it feels like to miss someone you love and to think that they don't love or miss you...and I could tell you the pain you'll go through and that for awhile everything reminds you of that person...and you miss them so much your heart aches. But I guess you're going to have to find that out for yourself because I'm not a part of your life anymore and I can't protect you from the pain...because you didn't protect me.

haha. that's enough quotes huh. hope those who read liked em.
life goes on
*smile.

dreamer ♥ 1:59 AM